Detour or Exit

I’m standing in the middle of a road which has 2 sign board showing signs of detour and exit.

Half part of me wants me to choose detour while another part wants me to choose exit road. Actually i wanted to come home so badly and work for this company in Malaysia. But it's all still uncertain as i need to undergo the final stage of interview which the session will be conducted by the directors.

Yes, i do miss Malaysia a lot but i was hoping that i could secure a job here as the culture and the working exposure are totally difference.But bottom line is, it's all about $$$..I mean the cost that i need to bear for my visa extension.


Even though when I first came here, all I wanted was to stay and find a work here, but with the current financial turmoil, there is not much of hope left.


However, last week when I’ve paid a visit to All Saints International office, I read statistic from Top 100 graduate employer companies and below is the statistic for sectors that shown positive trend for quarter period of 2009.





The Financial Institutions has surprisingly shown an inward movement despite of the financial turmoil that currently has an adverse effect to UK economy.
However, the green grass in other sectors may not always have the same scenario for other industries. The graph illustrated below shown an adverse effect of the job opportunities in UK market for the quarter period of 2009.





It has been everyone wishes to find a proper job in UK as the working experience is very valuable to our career progression. However, before a decision is made, there are few considerations that we need to be aware of such as;
• Cost analysis (Ensure that the benefits outweigh the costs incurred)
• Visa requirements (Comprised of Qualification perspective and Financial
perspective)
• Leaving your loved ones behind (Parents, siblings, relatives and friends)
• Impossible to get hitched up before 30.

My parents has insisted me to prolong my stay in UK and there is nothing much that I can do as I’m going for my Europe trip this weekend and shall be back in Manchester again by 4th July.

Insyallah, by then everything will be clearer.
Hope Allah will lead me to the right path. Amen.

5Q's in Choosing a Life Partner..

Hey guys,
M back..FREE FROM EXAMS and it means that i have more time to update my blog. Nway, i've received this interesting article from a friend of mine and i found that this article is really relevant to people who are still havent found the love of their lives.


FINDING AND KEEPING A LIFE PARTNER
by Dov Heller, M.A.

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Miss. Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: 'We're in love'; I believe this is the ..1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound 'not politically correct', there's a profound truth here.

Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: 'You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone'; You need a lot more!!! Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION ..1: Do we share a common life purpose?

Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a
common life purpose.

Two things can happen in a marriage:
(1) You can grow together
(2)you can grow apart.
50% of the people out there are growing apart.To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life!Bottom line; marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION ..2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?

This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust i.e.. trust that I won't get 'punished'; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings.
A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION ..3: Is he/she a mensch?

A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as 'someone who is always striving to be good and do the right ';. So ask about your significant other: What do they
do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world:
(1) People who are dedicated to personal growth.
(2) People who are dedicated to seeking comfort.

Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION ..4: How does he/she treat other people?

The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.

Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self absorbed? To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people
whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc.. How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone, who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as
well.


QUESTION ..5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?

Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to 'improve'; them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it: 'You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse' If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them. In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with
your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself trouble because you didn't do your homework.

Another perspective...
There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you.
Pay attention...Which ones lift and which ones lean?
Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?
Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?
When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse?
Which ones dont appreciate you?
Which ones make you feel good, praises you, boosts you with loving and
caring words or annotations.

The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

An African proverb states, 'Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye'; Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low selfâ€'esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important.
Do you bring out the best in each other?
Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control?
What do you bring to the relationship?
Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?
You can't take someone to the altar to alter them. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.
If you develop selfâ€'esteem, spiritual discernment, and 'a life'; you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG IS:
1. TRUST
2. COMMUNICATION
3. INTIMACY
4. A SENSE OF HUMOR
5. SHARING TASKS
6. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes,etc.)
7. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS
8. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE
9.GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT
10. CONCERN AND CARE FOR YOUR LOVER IN YOUR OWN WAYS.

If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will replace.